Browsing the archives for the Humor category

Day Two in Buenos Aires

Argentina, Humor, Stories, Trips

First of all we won’t talk about Day One.

After I finish this I’ll pack up my computer, schlep down eight flights and head to the nearby cafe that has wifi. BTW I gave this hotel a piece of my mind before paying the bill, but I am staying. There were many factors that went into the decision. Some of them follow: I didn’t come to BA to sit in a hotel room and be on-line. Any hotels I might change to would cost at least 50% more than this one and they would be in a touristy area. This is not a touristy area, so living here and walking the streets I am taken for a Portenyo (sic — what residents of BA call themselves). I’ve been living in a cafe named “Army” where they have wifi and a marvelous menu ejecutivo — for 31.90 pesos, about $8.60 — today I had a glass of beer, marvellous rolled chicken around, mixed vegetables, all of it inside a pastry, with a huge mound of mashed potatoes, great bread with butter and cheese, flan and coffee.

So, eventually today I bought a 10-ride subway ticket for about $3.10 and went downtown. That probably didn’t go real well, since I wasn’t sure where I was going. I stumbled onto Calle Florida (luckily not literally — not like falling down the up escalator at LAX on Monday). I next stumbled onto the Movistar phone company main office where I wanted to buy a SIM card for my 2-SIM quad phone. Ah, but they told me I had to show my passport to buy it, and I had left my passport back in the hotel because BA is supposed to be so dangerous. That’s when I took the subte (subway) back to my hotel, stopped at Army for the lunch I described, and made my way back to Movistar, where for 12 pesos and a rather long bureaucratic hassle I got a BA phone number and enough money to make about 8 minutes of local calls. Oh well…

After that I rushed back to the double decker tourist bus place where a guide told me earlier the last bus left at 7:30. I got there at 5:50 to learn that the last bus leaves at 17:30 — 5:30. Now as I think I said I’m preparing to pack up my laptop and head to Army — too early for dinner here in BA, so I’ll have “tea” and get on-line.

A thought or two from Army: I prefer the ancient wooden cars on the A-line subte. The windows are open and a bit of air reaches my face even though in both directions I was packed so closely into the car with a lot of strangers. When I got off I suggested to all that were left on that we do the same tomorrow, but with clothes off tomorrow. I think that would be more fun and hardly less intimate than what we all did today.

My second thought — every self-respecting tourist must put places and peoples into categories. I’ve decided that Buenos Aires is Budapest in Spanish: decaying elegance overlayed with a patina of class. One thing that struck me as strange was that even though cobble stones and coffin-sized sections of pavement were missing everywhere, even the “best areas,” the city hires persons with dustpans and little brooms to walk around sweeping up papers and cigarette butts.

Beware of Someone Too Eager To Help

Humor, Wisdom I Have Learned

It’s natural to want to reach out for the grass that appears greener on the other side of the fence, but sometimes problems arise.

Grass Is Greener on Other Side of Fence

Grass Is Greener on Other Side of Fence

If there is a problem often help will arrive, but it may not be the kind of help wished for.

Too Eager To Help

Too Eager To Help

Now Folks Are Doubting Cramer

Economy, Humor

It’s not bad enough that there have been some recent whispers that slavishly following the pundits on CNBC might not be good for your financial health, now Jon Stewart is engaging in a sort of slug-fest with Jim Cramer.

I Take CNBC with More Than One Grain of Salt

Economy, Heavy Lifting, Humor

It isn’t wise to slavishly follow what is shown on CNBC, and for heavens sake, when they start yelling, mute it!

‘Tis a Ponderment

Heavy Lifting, Humor

To click on the pronunciation of “ponder” is to experience a frisson of bewilderment.

Why I No Longer Twitter

Humor

After learning of several congress persons’ using twitter during the President’s speech last evening friends asked whether I twitter. I explained that I do not need to twitter, because I keep a few books next to the john to pass the time.

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To Die Like My Grandfather

Humor

I want to die like my grandfather. He died peacefully in his sleep

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Macs Used in Voodoo

Humor

An elderly cousin of mine, Clara (not her real name) lives in Minnesota. She likes to write and also needed something to help her organize all her recipes, so her family bought her a PC last Christmas. She really enjoyed it; even took a couple of classes. Early last summer I heard she had gotten an Internet connection. Well, she found out about Internet Relay Chat, and the next thing the family knew she was into a budding net romance with a gentleman from Ohio. But, all that was off the day he told her he used a Mac to connect to the net. She said she wasn’t going to have anything to do with a man who claimed he could communicate using a hamburger: either he was a liar or involved in voodoo or some such thing.

A List of Losers Is a Winner

Humor

Some wag we know is starting a new service providing the names of unsuccessful Web hosting companies. I think this is going to catch on. When you think of it, you’re much better off with an unsuccessful Web Host: they won’t grow, you won’t get great service for a while and then gradually watch it degrade as you would with a successful one; you’ll not have to try to remember everyone who has your email address to give them your new one, because the mail server at the successful site is crashing with the regularity of Big Ben’s chimes; you won’t have to wait 36 hours to find out your post to alt.binaries.kitchen.nudes went instead to alt.home.cooking. A list of losers is going to be a winner, I think.